New updated book
  
     

Building A New
Life Using SOS
Save Our Selves With Action


  


Questions and answers about SOS Philosophy
Information about starting support meetings
 Building A New Life Using SOS
Save Our Selves With Action

       By Duaine Metevia

   A guide to SOS Support Meetings
    The Philosophy of SOS, Save Our Selves.
   The nuts and bolts of SOS support meetings for the
   new member, longstanding member, counselors
   and care providers in the field of addictions.
      *SAVE OUR SELVES *
                 
Thoughts on holding SOS support meetings in jails,
prisons, treatment/detox centers and public meetings with
personal experiences from SOS Members.
Questions and Answers from SOS members.
There is lots of information in this book on- SOS -SAVE
OURSELVES.
   Contact; itsachoice@gmail.com
   www.itsachoicepublishing.com
New updated book

Index Treatment Centers Opening A Meeting The Idea Support Groups Buy This Book
         

"At Last"
Now Almost Anyone can hold an SOS Meeting
Using this easy to follow Book.
It also has useful information for long time SOS Members who have lots of experience holding SOS Meetings.



INDEX

Acknowledgements   ..................................................................    
3
Dedicated   ............................................... ..................................        
7
Forward  ...................................................   ................................         
9
Why I put my thoughts in print   .........      .    ..................................     
21
An Overview of SOS  ...........................   .   ...................................      
25
SOS Core Beliefs  .................................   .   .....................................       
29
Sobriety Priority………………………..        ....................................     
29
Self Empowering……………………………..................................... 
29
Your Personal Recovery Plan…………….. .....................................   
29
Secular……………………………………….................................. 
29
Focus………………………………………… .................................   
30
Abstinence Only………………………………. .................................     
30
Abstinence, not cutting back on the number of drugs used……………    
30 
Medicine…………………………………… ........................................     
31 
Abstinence Issues of Distraction……………….....................................    
31 
Choice……………………………………….........................................     
31 
Members come freely and leave freely………. .......................................    
31 
Free-thought……………………………….    ..........................................     
32 
You decide what your own unique needs are and craft a plan that’s just right for you  ……       
32
There is no program that you have to follow. You’re encouraged to think for yourself …             
34 
Because of the free-thought format, there are lots of discussions and ideas that are freely exchanged         .......................................................................... ..
34
Disease ………………………………………  
35
Addiction ……………………………………  
38
Destructive Behavior ……………………….  
39
Attending other Groups …………………… 
39
Sponsors ……………………………………..  
39
Drugs ………………………………………… 
40
SOS is not Anarchy …………………………     
41
Importance of Recovery Plans   ....... ………   .
64
What is a “Personal Recovery Plan”  …………..
68
How to Create a “Personal Recovery Plan”……
70                                                      
SOS Face-to-Face Meetings…………………    
70
Internet Support …………………………..
71
Detox Center …………………………               
72
Friends and Family …………………………….
73
Getting Started on Your Personal Recovery Plan …………………
73
Self-empowerment ………………………….. 
73
Suggestions, and only suggestions on starting a Personal Recovery Plan…………………          
74
Overview: Starting an SOS Meeting …………. 
78
Thoughts to be Considered about Giving Each Person Time   .................... ……
80
Group Etiquette    ...............................  ……….
84
A Safe Place    ..................................... ………
86
Changing the Moderator – 
One Person Should Not Control the Group … …
89
What to Expect (For the Newcomer)  …………
91
Everyone in the Group Should Have a Chance to Share    ................................... ……
95
Each Voice Will Be Given the Respect by Having the Group’s Focus on The Person Speaking …  
96
It Is of Great Importance That Each Person Has a Voice … … … … … … … … …… … …  …  
97
Podium    ....................................................... 
98
Focus – Focus – Focus    ..................  …...       
99
My Focus Is on My Life and My Recovery … ..
99
There is no Hidden Agenda   ......................... 
102
I am free to use Other Support Groups ...... ….
104
This is an Abstinence-Support Group ........  …
106
Religious and Non-Religious Freedom ..   ..    
110
No one preaches or tries to convert – or
subvert another’s belief system    ......... ……..
112
I learn to say “I – Me – My”   .............. ……..
115
I stay focused on the reason I’m here     ……   
118
Our stories are different, as they should be …. 
120
Crosstalk and debate    ..................  ………… 
123
Brain storming    ............................................
127
Some questions that come up      .................... 
129

Question: Our group is functioning very well and we don’t have any of this stuff in place. 
Why is our group working so well?   ……………   … 
129 

Question: After reading all that you have written, our group still thinks we should reply in
unison the same reply in a chant when a member introduces himself or herself.   We also
think we should clap in support after a member is done sharing. This is how we show
each other support.  It feels good and most if not all of us want to continue doing it. …………… 
129
Question: Does SOS have Sponsors?  ………   
132
Question: Can members change SOS any way they want to meet the needs of its members?    … . 
134
Question: What should I do if someone wants to be talked into sobriety?  …………………  ……. 
136
Question: What about making changes in lifestyle? ……………… ………………………………..
138
Question: What should family and friends expect? ………………………… …………………….
139
 Question: Do SOS meetings have assigned topics? ………………………… …………….           
140
Question: What are the advantages and disadvantages of venting?  …………………   
141
Question: What does “Secular” mean and is it a good fit for SOS? ………………………   ….  
143
Question: Is addiction a disease?  ……. ……..
144
Question: What role does choice play? ………
146
Question: Do I have to call myself an alcoholic or a drug addict?  …………………………   …...
147
Question: What about other support groups? ...
149
Question: What about having a Charter? …… 
150
Question: Are sign-in sheets a good idea? …   
152
Question: Should smoking be an issue in SOS meetings? ………………………………          
153
 Question: Is a smoker sober?  …………   ….. 
153
Question: Should a smoker be treated like an outcast at a meeting?  ……………………        
153
Question: What about smoking at a meeting? ..
153
 Question: Should SOS meetings be nonsmoking meetings?  …………………………………… 
154
Question: If everyone at the meeting smokes then it should be OK, right?  ……………………     
154
Question: Lots of rules for a free-thought meeting, isn’t it?…………… ………………………….  
155
Question: What about the use of profanity in SOS meetings?  ……………………  ……………    
156 
Powerlessness    ............................ …………  
158
Profanity    ....................................... ………  
161
 Recovery Dance: Have your cake and eat it to 
163
Structure and Topics in an SOS Meeting   ….. 
166
Auto-Pilot    ..................................... ……….
176
A small disclaimer is probably needed  ...........
182
SOS would never want to ask anyone to leave.
184
SOS has no central apparatus, Hierarchical structures or authoritarian leaderships    ........ 
185
Central Clearinghouse    ................ ………... 
186
168 SOS Behind Bars   .........................   …..
190
Chants and mindless replies    ..... …………..
194
What gives me the qualifications To write this book …………………………………………
198
Starting an SOS Meeting    ...........  ……….. 
206
SOS Behind Bars – Starting an SOS Meeting 
211
Opening an SOS Meeting ……… …………...
217
Larry B’s Sobriety Toolkit     ......... ………...
219
SOS Does Not Use Steps    ............ ………...
230
Humanist Steps ………………………………
232
AA Twelve Steps translated by an AA "Agnostics" group ……………………. …… …………… 
234
12 Statements ………………… ………  …    
236
THE 12 (suggested) STEPS OF 12 STEP FREE ……………………………….. ……………..  
239
Welcome Message to SOS International
E-Support Group    .............................. ……
241
An article from SOS Friends and Families    ........................................ ……..
249
Smoking To Much Too Soon …………  …..
252
An SOS Approach to Eating Disorders …….
265
The Suffering Facture ……………………..  
276
Reply to this article ……………… ………    
279
AS One Member sees it …………………..   
284
SOS Article ; Des From Sidney …..    ……. 
287     
How I got my life back …………………..   
294
SOS Guide Booklet for Group Leaders ....... 
299
Brochures   ...................................... ……..
329
Books from SOS    ...........................  ….   
330
Books from WFS (Women for Sobriety)   ..........................................................    
333
Books from SMART   ..................... ……..
335
Books from 16 Steps … … …  … ... ……. 
336

"At Last"
Now Almost Anyone can hold an SOS Meeting
Using this easy to follow Book.
It also has useful information for long time SOS Members who have lots of experience holding SOS Meetings.

Information on holding an SOS Meeting and information on the philosophy of SOS in an easy to understand presentation.

Save Our Selves is sometimes misunderstood because of second hand information that is not accurate or presented by someone with an agenda to purposely distort .

There is very little that isn't addressed in "Building Recovery" about this unique one of kind support group, SOS, Save Our Selves.

It's not just a manual on holding an SOS meeting.  It's also about the nature of SOS, the thinking that holds it together and makes it so successful.

Find out for yourself what this the number one Non-Step support group is all about.







Dear Duaine;
Thanks for the books "Building Recovery,"  they will be put to good use.

Our group that meets at the library each Sunday read it from cover to cover, and they were very enthusiastic -- and so was I !

 I still go to the Volusia County Correctional Facility each Thursday for a one hour meeting which is voluntary for the inmates.  Still, we have a capacity crowd of about 25 each week, and an equal number is turned away.

 Again, thanks for your support,

 Bob Stevenson

Coordinator for SOS in Daytona Beach.

"Building Recovery" is a breezy, yet surprisingly insightful read which fully describes the true purpose  behind SOS and the freedom and caring found in its meetings.

Ryan C. Atkinson (SOS Member)

 
 
The idea behind "Building A New Life Using SOS" started as small print out and grew because of a need that I saw in SOS Jail and Prison meetings.  

It has information that can be used by almost anyone in SOS.

I saw some very dedicated people working hard to make an SOS meeting work, and grow, only to have their efforts destroyed by others who had a different agenda.

Because SOS is not a "Program" with hard guidelines, some saw this as an opening that they could drive a Mack Truck through.

What's written in this book is not set in stone, but it is a very strong tool in taking back an SOS meeting or stopping it from being high jacked in the first place.

Health Care Providers who want to have a working knowledge of SOS will benefit from this book.

In-house recovery meetings held by Health Care Providers can include SOS meetings using "Building Recovery" as a guide.

Jails and Prisons that want to hold an SOS meeting will benefit from this book.

In Jails and Prisons that have "Building Recovery" the Inmates and the staff will be able to hold SOS meetings without reservation.  No longer the fear that maybe they aren't doing it right.  This book provides enough information that most people will feel confident holding an SOS meeting.

 

"Building A New Life Using SOS"
 
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